Most well-adjusted Singaporeans feel at least a bit of unease when their partner acts like the perpetual provider (at least before you're married, and the relationship dynamic changes). What's the only thing more offensive than being called a gold digger? It's being treated like one when you're not. ![]() You Will Never Feel Like You're Living Off Someone Else If you find someone ambitious and capable but currently poor, it could be like getting in on the ground floor of a future success. Are they broke because they are lazy, or because they have embarked on several daring attempts to build a company? Are they poor because they have huge student debt, because they are in training to be a highly paid professional one day? If you want to think about wealth, you would do better to look at their ambition instead of their bank account. They'll know you weren't just in it for the money. When they are, they'll remember you stuck by them even in their time of poverty. They may not be rich right now, but they may be in future. Look at Future Returns, Not Just Current Earnings So with that out the way, here are the side-benefits of dating one level down in wealth: Materialism is often the consequence of trauma and insecurity (think broken families, abuse, and being bullied in school). Those people tend to be seriously broken inside. will insist their engagement ring is not big enough), we suggest you run. If you meet someone for whom those superficial qualities are all-important (e.g. But it's not the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Ultimately, what matters is that you can form a genuine connection with someone, and feel secure and good around them.Īs for the wealth, good looks, an ability to appreciate Delta Blues, etc., it's nice and preferable. People go out with people who lack many or all of these qualities. If you've got it, your partner will be glad you do.īUT… none of them make or break a relationship. What does a man or woman want in a partner? Is it wealth? Good looks? A sense of humour? On that level, the answer is all of it. No, we're referring to other advantages of dating someone poorer. Well, there are dimensions they haven't considered, and we're not just talking about their "inner worth". The day inner worth is acceptable as down payment for an HDB flat, then we'll talk about that. While Singaporeans often aim to "marry up", "marrying down" has great benefits you've never thought of. Many Singaporeans think it's SUCH an advantage to date a richer person. Only a dumbass would subject themselves to that type of relationship, Singapore's go-to personal finance comparison platform, guides consumers on the best money habits with its credit card comparison tool and allows real-time personal loans product comparison. They just make the woman suffer more within the relationship for out earning him. Men don't step up to help or contribute in the relationship in other ways if they earn less. If males didn't tie their identity to their income and inherently believe that they're "above" women in a relationship, then this wouldn't be a problem. Most men inherently believe that they're better than women and without earning more to "prove" that their time is more valuable than their partners time, they act out in other expressions of dominance to position themselves above their higher earning partner.Ī woman marrying a man that makes less than her is statistically more likely to end up with a highly insecure male, who disproportionately burdens her in the relationship with infidelity, more domestic chores, and more financial responsibility. Their socialization to definition of manhood doesn't allow them to truly believe in an equal partnership. ![]() ![]() Men don't handle income disparity within a relationship well. Considering that when women earn more in the relationship, men do less housework and are more likely to cheat in the relationship. But I think some women don’t want to make the man feel uncomfortable or emasculated by any income discrepancy. Some women probably do it because of superficiality (“he can buy me more things!”). Some women probably seek a higher earning spouse because of pre-existing social norms and roles. ![]() So I can’t speak personally to looking for a higher earning man. I met my husband right after graduating from high school before I knew what our earning potential would be. Soon she’ll definitely be out-earning him by a significant margin.īut what did my mother-in-law ask? She didnt ask “what will do when she is earning more?” She asked: ”how will handle that?” But the man’s career seems to be plateauing, while the woman’s career has tons of upward mobility. They both have great careers and they’re climbing the ladder. This couple is really well-off financially. My in-laws asked me and my husband about a couple we know the other day.
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